Thursday, March 31, 2011

I'm thankful and grateful for working in this college!

Since Day 1 of working in my new workplace, my boss have started this prayer gathering where we will form a circle and have morning prayer according to our own religious beliefs. Monday to Friday we've been during this (we still do!) and sometimes this has become a routine for all of us. But today, I just realised that this morning prayer session is actually very uncommon especially in a secular institution. It is good that our own employer reminds us everyday to be thankful for this life and a start of a new day. today, I am actually grateful because I work in a place where there is acknowledgment on the existence of God. That every morning, we will gather, giving thanks and praying to our God :)

Mr CEO, thanks for this practice...you may not realised this but acknowledging the existence of a Higher Being and the fact that we communicate with Him every morning is really wonderful and awesome ! :)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Daughter Sister Lady Wife Mother

Hah...it's been ages since I last blogged...been very occupied with many things...first there was the studies, then wedding, then pregnancy and baby, change of job...for twenty nine years I realised that my roles as a female has increased from being a small little girl and a daughter to a big sister (recently) to becoming a wife and now a mother...Phew, how time flies!

One day as I was reading to my baby, then it suddenly occured to me that I used to blogged! It's been about 1 year since the last note!

Well, I hope (I must make time) to at least blog about motherhood and nursing (if I can't do much on Christianity)...

Sunstaravista, sorry for the long neglect...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Why is it still happening even though I am renewed?

'He rescued us from the domains of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His Beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins' (Col 1:13, 14)

"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come" (2 Cor 5:17)


If all these verses are true, then how come I'm still struggling with the same thoughts & feelings I did before I was renewed? Have you had such thought or asked this question at any point of time after you've been renewed?
Now, there is an explanation & logic reason as to why we still think, feel, & too often act as we did before we were renewed & reborn again.

During those early & formative years of our lives, we don't have this close & intimate kind of relationship with God. Even though we may be following our family to church every Sunday, but we learned to live independent of God. This learned independence from God is a major characteristic of what Scriptures called flesh. When we were renewed & reborn again in Christ, nobody pushed the button in our memory bank. Everything that we learned before our renewal with Christ (will all the feelings that go with it) is still recorded in our memory. That's why Paul said, "Do not be conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by renewing your mind" (Ro 12:2). Even as believers we can still be conformed to this world by listening to the wrong programs, wrong songs, or reading the wrong material.

Strongholds of Self-Defense


In our natural state, we learned many ways to cope with life or defend ourselves which were not always mentally & emotionally healthy. Psychologists refer this to defense mechanisms, & they are certainly not congruent with Christianity. In my case, I would go into escapism, drowning myself in my work, just to repress or forget about my grief or problem.
other common mechanisms are:
1) denial (conscious or subconscious refusal to face the truth)
2) emotional insulation (withdrawing to avoid rejection)
3) regression (reverting to less threatening times)
4) displacement (taking out frustrations on others)
5) projection (blaming others)
6) fantasy (escaping from the real world)
7) rationalization (making excuses for poor behaviour)


These defense mechanisms are what Paul called strongholds (see 2 Cor 10:3-5)
Strongholds are fleshly thought patterns that were programmed into our mind when we learned to live life independently of God.
What was learned has to be unlearned. Can our mind be reprogrammed? This is what we call as repentance; a change of mind. We are transformed by renewing our minds. We can be transformed because we have the mind of Christ within us & because the Holy Spirit will lead us into truth. But the world systems we were raised in & our independent flesh patterns are not the only enemies of our sanctification. Even though we are new creation in Christ, we still battle the world, the flesh & the devil.

To accomplish his purpose, Satan's perpetual aim is infiltrate our thoughts with his thoughts & promote his lie in the face of God's truth. He knows that if he can control our thoughts, we can control our life. That's why Paul reminds us by saying, "And we are taking every thought captive to the obedient of Christ" (2 Cor 10:5).
Remember the story of David in 1 Chro 21:1? How Satan rose up against Israel & incited that David to take census of Israel? Okay, what's wrong with taking census? Shouldn't David already know the number of his battle troops? This reveals the true subtle nature of Satan. Satan knew that David had a whole heart for God & would not willingly defy the God. The strategy that Satan use is to get David to put his confidence on his own resources rather than God's resources. At that time, David knew that the battle belonged to God but suddenyl he had this 'thought' to take census despite the protests of Joab, who knew that it was sin. Tragically, 70,000 men of Israel fell as the result of David's sin.

Now, as what Paul said, we need to take captive of our thoughts in the obedience of Christ. Just how do we know whether those negative, lying & condemning are from the evil one or just our own flesh patterns? Hhmm..in one sense, it doesn't make any difference. However, flesh patterns don't just leave. As you shroud yourself with the Words of God & prayer, these negative thoughts will be slowly replaced or overcome because we are in the process of renewing our minds. Paul reminds us not to be anxious about anything. Rather, we are to turn to God in prayer, "and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehensio, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7) The next verse tells us to allow our minds to dwell on those things which are true, pure, lovely & light.

My friends,as we grow each day, renewing our personal relationship with Him, He may enlighten & tell you on some issues that needs to be resolved in order that the relationship with God will reach greater heights & intimacy.
If we are proud, He will opposed to us (Js 4:6)
If we are bitter & unforgiving (on ourselves or others, God will turn us to the torturers (Matt 18:34)
We can't expect blessings from God if we are living in open rebellion against God (1 Sam 15:23)

Therefore, these issues needs to be resolved first, since only God can bind up the brokenhearted & set the captive free.

As I end this sharing, please receive this gift of prayer to God who will strengthen us as we rely on Him;

Dear Heavenly Father
I know that You want me to know the truth, believe the truth, speak the truth & live in accordance with the truth.
Thank you that it is the truth that will set me free. In many ways I have been deceived by Satan, the father of lies, & I have deceived myself as well.
Dear Father, I pray in the name my Lord Jesus Christ, by virtue of His blood & ressurection, asking You to rebuke all of Satan's demons that are deceiving me.
I have trusted in Jesus alone to save me, & so I am Your forgiven child. Therefore, since You accept me as I am in Christ, I can be free to face my sin & not try to hide. I ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth. I ask You to "search me, O God & know my heart; try me & know my anxious thoughts; & see if there are any hurtful way in me, & lead me in the everlasting way"
I pray all this is Jesus' name, who is the Way, the Truth, & Life. Amen.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

10 things you may not know about Lidz

1) I like to spend time with the senior citizens

2) I can be overly commited to my work...aka lots of OTs...

3) Yes, I do write poems, both English & Bahasa Melayu...if I knew how to write in Mandarin, I would've start writing poems in Mandarin too!

4) I felt so much alive & refreshed after intercessory sessions :)

5) I was sick for at least 2 months while in uni & doctors suspected that I may have blood cancer. However, I went to my first pilgrimage at Mt Singai, Bau & was healed there :)

6) I have hearing problem in my left ear. When I was 10 years old, my sister 'korek' my left ear until it bled while I was sleeping.

7) I love babies but I dread the thought of going through labour pains....

8) I love to dance!

9) I prefer home-cooked food compared to eating outside...save money but banyak keraja la...

10)I can massage & do reflexology :)

None Like You

Divine as You are
You took on human robe
Descend down from heaven
To be amidst Your people
In humility You came
Clothed with poverty
For love come redemption...O Loving Lord...

For love of Your children
You become sacrifice
E'en to Your last breath
You still proclaim Your love
E'en if a mother turns her child away
Your love endures forever....


# You can compare with Your love
You can compare with Your mercy
You can compare with Your grace
O Lord, there is none like You...

Friday, February 29, 2008

NeuroLab...I won't forget all of u! Terimalah bingkisan puitis ini...








Satu impian...
Itulah datangku ke pertapaan ini...

Kukutip ilmu
dalam perjalanan panjang ini...
Ada tawa pemanis suram
Ada kaca kerikil karang
Pengalaman menjadi matang
Berpandu ilmu berian di pertapaan ini...

Kutimba ilmu
Dari pagi ke malam kelam
Dalam setiap bicara dan tindak kupelajari
Dalam setiap langkah yang bijak kucontohi

Akan kuingat and kukumpul
Akan kuperisaikan diri
Dengan ilmu yang ditimba

Ilmu yang umpama mawar semerbak
Yang harumnya tak mungkin hilang

Monday, January 28, 2008




Hhhmmm..guess what?!!

I got my Padini bag..a brand new one which was replaced by the man who owns the laundry shop in MC.

Praise God! I really praise God, not because of the bag...but because He has made known to me His ways through granting my prayers...I remembered Mother Nadine said, 'You ask, God will act'..it's like AA..and yes, I have asked God and the intercession of St Anthony of Padua too.

However, I realised that I was on the losing end for not filling up the declaration form when I sent the bag the other day (I was not even aware that there is a form in which I have to fill up for any items-expensive- to be sent to the laundry. Apparently, the owner of the laundry service will only be responsible in replacing the lost item provided that the form is filled up).


Yes, I have been fervently praying about this and after that, I made a decision to meet the owner and told him about the 'bag' story. The owner, has, out of his kindness (according to him, lah!..i dunno la if he has any ulterior motive), decided to compensate me an exact bag which I have lost in the laundry. We contacted the Padini office to enquire about the bag since the bag was rather an oudated item which was not sold in any Padini outlet back then. But, Praise God! there were few bags left in their warehouse, according to the Marketing Exec, and these bags will be on sale on the Y-E-S starting 1st Dec in selected Padini outlets (only in 1 Utama Padini outlets actually).


When I received the bag, which was still in its Padini plastic bag, I was really non-stop praising and thanking God in my heart! My face was brimming with smiles and I think that people who saw me must think that I'm 'syok sendiri' smiling away...


This is truly one of the moments in which I had a taste of happiness and joy for having prayers granted. I wasn't just happy but tears were rolling down my cheek because He had listened to me and made way for me. I was overwhelmed and amazed. I was crying in joy!

My friends, there were times that we may not believe it but the Divine Hands are actually at work in our life. I have had my experiences. Most people would just say that these are all coincidences or accidental. In this situation, I am not supposed to get compensation from the laundry because I never filled up the declaration form for my sling bag. And do you know what did the owner of the laundry service told me after I told him this story of mine?
" Hhmm...initially I thought that you were making up this story and the actual fact is, I cannot give you any compensation because you did not fill up the form. The bag might have been lost somewhere but you might have told me a lie and blame on my workers. But, seeing how genuine you were, I felt compelled to replace the bag. I don't do this every time a resident come to me and report a lost item in the laundry but for you, I will replace the exact bag'.


How about that?

Did you know that Jesus has promised us that '...whatever you ask the Father in my (Jesus) name He will give you” (Jn 16:23)?
Try it...You may say, I don't know how to pray...My friends, there is no rigid or formatted ways on praying. Praying is, in fact, conversing with someone, in an intimate way. And yes! God wants so much for you to converse with Him. Do you realised that the the verse from Jn 16:23 can also be translated in today way of conversing as, 'You ask, I will act'?...and these words were exactly what was enlightened to Mother Nadine (she's a religious and an Intercessor of the Lamb by the way). And did you know that you can talk to Him just about anything? 'Yikes! I thought we can only talk about all those good things to God, how sinful we are, blah blah blah' you might say. Oh no, my friend. You may have forgotten that He is your Creator, so...it's alright to tell Him about anything.

When you see a child and a parent communicating, you will see how the child will tell and ask his parents just about anything, right? Even the explicit questions and issues! That is how God wants us to be. He wants us to be just like the little children. To be able to tell Him just about everything...God doesn't just want you to come to Him in your sadness, burdens, sins, problems...He wants you to tell Him just about everything in your life. But some will say, 'Why do I need to tell Him everything in my life, He already knows because He's the Supreme God.' Well, my friend, yes, He knows but He actually wants us to have a RELATIONSHIP with Him. And only through praying a.k.a communicating with God can we initiate this relationship with Him. Don't think that you are unworthy of this relationship. Because you are worthy. Because this relationship with God has been bought with a price, price paid by His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ has filled up the wide gap and broke down the wall between humanity and God. Isn't this a beautiful knowledge? Knowing about this Love and how much God wants to have a relationship with Him?

How do we start about praying with Him? Like what I said, God really do want us to communicate with Him. These are a few of what I do...

1) As I wake up in the morning, I would greet God and thank Him for the night and the rest that I had (no matter how few hours I slept!).

2) As I drive my way to work, instead of listening to the radio or music, I would have this time in the car where I can really talk to God in my heart. I'll tell just Him about anything...like a normal conversation that I would have with a best friend, I would talk about my work for the day, about the dream that I had last night, about my family, about my little sister whom the whole family is worried might do well in her UPSR studies, about my mom's health, about my father going outstation today, blah blah...

3) Visits to the Blessed Sacrament (for the Catholics), where I can just (again) talk to Him like a friend...about whether I should really start a relationship with that Thomas guy, asking Him to give me hints and ensure that I'm open and not blinded to His enlightenments!
4) Well, of course, conversations with God doesn't overrule our meditative prayers to God too...it's good to have conversations with God but we must not neglect our prayers like Rosary, Our Father and other forms of devotions...

5) Talking to God while you are doing chores! (the Carmelites does this!)


And my friends, we will wonder, how do we get to hear the voice of God? Well, we should always ask the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts and to 'open the eyes of my heart, Lord' (this is a verse from a song, by the way!) :P

1) Sometimes, God will speak to us through the Bible, because this is the Word of God...so ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through..again like a conversation, jus ask the Holy Spirit to guide your heart to the Words of God which He wanted to reveal to us...Recently, I had a very heated argument with a closed friend of mine. Ok, to be honest, I was literally on the verge of madness when talking to him. I could not take it when the mockery was done on his Creator. And after that I was crying and crying and complaining to God. And you know what? I was given something by God ;)


The Word of God came to me (from the Bible la!) and here is it's reflection:
Read 1 Sam 18:6-9; 19:1-7...

David was beginning to experience a major conflict with a man whom he loved like his own father. Saul was unreasonably jealous of him. David's friend, Jonathan, tried to intervene, but this conflict would last several years, endangering David's life and developing into a civil war that would destroy countless lives and divide a great kingdom.

How do you feel when you try to rescue a friend from his/her problems and your help doesn't work? Do you think that maybe you didn't try hard enough? Well, perhaps God doesn't want the problem solved so fast or the way you tried to fix it.

How do you feel when someone causes you problems, as Saul did when he ruined the good relationship that he and David used to have? If you're like me, your prayer is, "God, you can see this horrid situation, so please take care of it (yeah! I prayed like this).
Either (1) change that person now, or (2) change that person two seconds from now, or (3) get that person out of my life!" (I was tempted to take this 3rd choice).

But the best answers to our prayers do not come quickly. Quick fixes are the easy way, the lazy way, the flesh-nature's way. Short-cuts in the path to heaven do more harm than good.
When a God-given relationship turns sour (I am not speaking of relationships that God never wanted for us), God allows the suffering to continue for a while — not for the sake of pain (he surely isn't a sadist, and he suffers when we suffer, far more than we do) — but for the sake of the other person's journey and for the sake of our own purification. He wants to stretch us and expand our ability to love others.
When loving is easy, what merit is there in that? But when a person becomes difficult to love, that is when we become more like Jesus, who suffered out of love for you and me with great passion. How serious are you in your commitment to become more like Jesus?


Oh dear..this reflection really hit me to the core of my being...I realised that God really has spoken to me through that story of David in 1 Sam 18:6-9; 19:1-7. Yes, I have loved this friend of mine even though he has renounced himself. I have loved him despite the fact that most of his friends has left him because of the stand that he has chosen. I wanted to love him not because of the stand that he took, but I wanted to love him for who he is. That he is still loved no matter what he intends to be. But him, knowing my stance, has attempted to pushed me to the wall, and yes, he has succeeded in this! And now, on the verge of this sheer breakdown I have told God; 'Lord, I'm going to get him out of my life! Forgive me, God please take control and bring him back to you again, Lord I feel so harrased by this friend!, Lord I cannot take endure this friend anymore, Lord I thought he's going back to now because there were signs that he's on the way to You now but why this?, Lord I cannot take it if he mocks and make fun of You, Lord! I knew that God has been with me and experiencing what I am going through. I was literally crying my heart out when I told all these to Him...And truly, He has spoken through the literal words of reflection from the Good News Ministries website. What more can I say, God? You know just what to tell me...

2) Sometimes, God will speak to us through circumstances in our lives. God will put a circumstance or situation in our life so that we would realised and make changes in our life. Remember that God never wanted to give us the breadcrumbs, He wants to give us the best! For example, when I was in my uni years, there was this one period of time in which I fell gravely ill...that time I was superbusy with my studies, extra-curricular activities, social life and I have totally neglected my health and the spiritual aspects in my life. And then, I fell sick for about a semester and was suspected to have lymphoma. My grades went crashing down. And this circumstance made me take a 180 degree turn in my life...I re-prioritised what is important in my life and went for my first pilgrimage in Bau, Sarawak. I was then sick but during the pilgrimage, I asked God for healing (if He allows it, that is! Let Your will be done, Lord, Amen). And then, after the pilgrimage, I was totally healed of the symptoms...and I had a blood checkup and the results came back normal! Praise God! I knew then that this circumstance was His enlightenment on me to tell me to prioritise what things that are most important in my life. Sometimes my friends, God will have to grant us bad things to happen to make us and the people around us to realised but sadly, some people choose not to hear or see what God is trying to convey to them. Some people will experience accidents, sickness, separation from family member(s) and many more things to happen. However, God doesn't just cast upon misfortunes in our life to make us realised, He also speaks to us through good circumstances. A friend of mine has somewhat came into realisation of how much she wanted to love her mentally challenged little brother through a circumstance in her life. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Noves!) When she was away from home to work in another town, she has somewhat re-kindled her family relationships through the distance. And only then that she realised that she wanted to love her brother so much despite the challenges in loving him. Now, she's embracing and living out this enlightenment!


3) Another way of God speaking to us is through the people around us...hhmm...How do we know if those are really words spoken by God? Well, if anyone claims that God has spoken to him or her, it is advisable to always compare what is said with what the Bible says. If God were to speak today, His words would be in full agreement with what He has said in the Bible. God does not contradict Himself, the Scripture says in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 proclaims, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” However, the issue would be, "how humble are we in accepting and submitting to the Word of God?" Why do I say this? Because many people today, judge others as how humans judge others. Well, what if God uses the person whom you have grudge to convey to you a message? Hhmm...God works in His most mysterious, unknowing and least expected ways, you know. One incident whom I have experienced is that, when I was in a ministry and I knew that some people were still ,living in the darkness, as in enjoying the Devil's pit (you-know-where) and savouring on the Devil's indulgences (you-know-what). And then I had some conversation with a friend whom I had a personal grudge with which I am still battling to resolve (this is an area with which I need to be healed). And upon hearing this sharing of mine, he mentioned about that if the person brings the others in the ministry to the Devil's pit and savour the indulgences, it would be better for him to go alone to that place instead of bringing the others from the ministry because he is bringing others into sin. And then he quoted Mat 18: 6-9 to me. I was on the losing end actually, in this discussion because I couldn't find any Bible verses that supported my arguments but he has his points supported with a Bible verse. I was arguing with him that it will be their decisions to go to the Devil's pit that we cannot blame on the person who brought these people to that place. Upong looking up the Bible, I knew that my friend was right all along...and I knew what they do; they are living double lives. And God has indeed spoken to me through this friend of mine.